Too Hot To Handle

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“Her mission – seduce and destroy! Her deadliest weapon – her body!”

Sexy globe-trotting contract killer and S&M enthusiast Samantha Fox (no, not the ‘80s pop star who wanted you to “touch me, touch me now!”) is called into action when she accepts a mission to kill a group of nasty gangsters in the Philippines, but problems inevitably arise when she falls like a sack of skittles for the hunky detective investigating the murders. Can a swinging ‘70s gal with a thirst for violence and a burning need for a love connection really have it all? Where’s Gloria Steinem when you need her? This incredibly skanky soft-core action flick features bewildering blonde 1970’s drive-in superstar Cheri Caffaro (star of the incredibly skanky Ginger series) as Samantha Fox, the glamorous lady assassin with a high-powered rifle and a blatant disregard for venereal disease. Too blonde, too tan and too wooden to sink to the bottom of the pool she inevitably lounges next to in her white string bikini, Caffaro is really something else as she strips, whips and kicks her enemies into submission. Hilariously un-choreographed kung fu fight scenes and weird sexcapades (how often do you get to see a sex scene intercut with a cock fight?) awkwardly rub shoulders (and other body parts) with startling S&M-tinged murder sequences and bad disco dancing to create a true sleaze classic that may actually be “too hot to handle.” (Dir. by Don Schain, 1977, 85 mins., Rated R) Digital