Sinbad of the Seven Seas starring Lou Ferrigno

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“He must conquer evil on land and at sea!”
Badly-dubbed thespian bodybuilder Lou Ferrigno plants himself in the middle of a chintzy, hot mess Sinbad flick from Italy (supposedly based on a short story by Edgar Allan Poe????), and the world may never be the same. In Sinbad of the Seven Seas, helmed by Enzo G. Castellari (director of the epically awful 1981 Jaws rip-off, Great White) and released by the nuts at Cannon Films, former Incredible Hulk star Lou Ferrigno pulls on a greasy loincloth and lumbers his way through a bizarre story which claims to be based on Edgar Allan Poe’s story “The Thousand and Second Tale of Scheherazade,” although no actual similarity seems to exist between that story and this film (but who’s really keeping track of such minor details)? Here, Sinbad must recover a handful of magic stones to free the city of Basra from a silly spell cast by the evil and prissy wizard Jaffar (played by John Steiner, the bad guy from Yor: The Hunter from the Future), a somewhat pointless journey which takes him to several mysterious islands where he must do battle with a ragged array of supposedly terrifying monsters, aided by a dim-witted team of weirdos, including Soukra the Sorceress, The Bald Cook and Poochie the Dwarf! (that’s right, Poochie the Dwarf … wanna make something out of it)? A spectacularly bad fantasy film that makes Ferrigno’s two Cannon Hercules films look like The Godfather Parts 1 and 2, Sinbad of the Seven Seas (which is framed, Princess Bride-style, as a charming storybook being read by an adult to a young child … only here, instead of Peter Falk and Fred Savage, we get a terribly-dubbed Italian lady – mama mia! – reading to her demonic-looking daughter who seems like she’d rather be spitting up pea soup than listening to this incessant blather) is a cinematic adventure unlike any other … thank goodness. (Dir. by Enzo G. Castellari, 1989, Italy, dubbed in English, 93 mins., Rated PG-13) Digital