Outlaw of Gor

outlawofgor_webposter Showtimes

“Return once again to the enchanted planet of Gor!”

In this god-awful, yet strangely compelling, sequel to the sci-fi train wreck Gor, a dumb blonde college professor is whisked away to a magical, breastical-boobical planet of swords, sorcery and Jack Palance, where he must learn to love, fight and save the day while wearing a leather speedo and figuring out how to avoid starring in a third installment of the Gor series. Loosely based on the popular S&M-tinged fantasy novels by John Norman, Outlaw of Gor (also known on MST3K simply as “Outlaw”) opens with Earthling professor Tarl Cabot once again being magically transported to Gor after having brought some semblance of civilization to its barbaric inhabitants in the first film. Now, however, he’s saddled with Watney, an insufferable, bumbling, moronic load of a fellow professor who trills “Cabot?” constantly. But all is not well. An elderly king is murdered by his duplicitous young queen (who is aided by a drunken Jack Palance, allegedly playing an evil High Priest), Tarl’s Gorean girlfriend (who looks strangely like Apollonia in Purple Rain) is jailed, and Tarl himself escapes into the desert with only an annoying little person with a bleached-out Billy Idol haircut for company. Soon, everyone on Gor starts shouting “Cabot! Cabot!” constantly, even Jack Palance, and before you know it, a lot of other stuff happens. A low-budget laugh-fest from the Cannon Film Group, directed by stuntman-turned-filmmaker John ‘Bud’ Cardos, who also brought the world The Kingdom of the Spiders! (Dir. by John ‘Bud’ Cardos, 1989, US, 89 min., Rated PG-13) Digital