Hollywood Chainsaw Hookers

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“They Charge an Arm and a Leg!”
Sporting one of the greatest bad movie titles of all time, Hollywood Chainsaw Hookers actually lives up (or maybe down) to its lurid title, telling the charmingly entertaining tale of young women seeking entrepreneurial opportunities in the customer service field while simultaneously indulging their love of gas-guzzling power tools. It ain’t exactly Gone with the Wind, but if you love trashy movies, this overstuffed cinematic garbage bag will definitely blow you away. Directed by the tirelessly prolific B-movie maestro Fred Olen Ray (Evil Toons, Bikini Drive-In), Hollywood Chainsaw Hookers features Scream Queen Linnea Quigley (Return of the Living Dead) as a sexy-n-sassy young runaway whose desperate dive into the Hollywood prostitution racket lands her smack in the middle of a demonic chainsaw hooker death cult, presided over by a gruesome guru played by none other than the original Texas Chainsaw “Leatherface,” Gunnar Hansen. As a seedy private dick investigates the mysterious increase in dismembered perverts littering the streets of L.A., the town’s bloodthirsty hooker population gets ready for the ultimate chainsaw showdown between cops and call girls. This goofy horror flick (which skimps on neither the bad acting nor the gushing gore) doesn’t bother to hide its primary agenda – the glorious exploitation of female nudity and severed body parts – and it delivers the goods with gusto. Highlights include a decidedly un-subtle cross-dressing hooker, an Elvis-loving cultist who covers her movie posters with plastic before chainsawing her next john, a victim’s-eye view of a chainsaw attack, and a body-painted Quigley performing the “Virgin Dance of the Double Chainsaws!” Classic. (Dir. by Fred Olen Ray, 1988, USA, 75 mins., Rated R) Digital